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Courtroom Humor
By Attorney: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
By Witness:
Gucci sweats and Reebok's.
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By Attorney: Doctor, as a result of your examination of the plaintiff, is the young lady pregnant? By Witness: The young lady is pregnant -- but not as a result of my examination. ------ By Attorney: Can you describe the individual? By Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard. Attorney: Was this a male or a female? ------ By Attorney: When was the last time you saw the deceased? By Witness: At his funeral. By Attorney: Did he make any comments to you at that time? ----- By Attorney: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? By Witness: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people. | 
Many couples who decide to end their marriage worry about expensive attorney's fees that are associated with the process. What they don't realize is that the greatest contributing factors to mounting legal expenses are their own emotions. Vengeance, jealousy and wanting to "win" are the reasons that most contested divorces become costly. Sticky custody battles and division of property down to the second set of flatware cause those big numbers, not necessarily your attorney. The more you need from the legal world, the more it costs and if emotions are blocking efficient negotiation, you can bet the process will be long and arduous for everyone. Emotions shouldn't be locked away, but finding the appropriate time to handle them is crucial in saving your sanity and your money. There is no sense in rehashing your fears; be proactive about your divorce and help prevent serious costs in the long run.
